Why I Hate New Year’s Resolutions

I’m a quitter.

I have never gone more than a month of consistently working out because I don’t see results right away. I’ve switched my major twice because the work wasn’t something I could sit down and effortlessly finish in under an hour.

I’ve asked other people at work to help me when I didn’t feel like learning how to do something. My roommates light the candles in my room and open cans of soup for me because I’ve tried and failed at using both a lighter and a can opener.

I can’t even finish one goddamn stick of chapstick without losing it and just buying a new one because I don’t feel like hunting for it under my bed.

If something doesn’t come easy, I stop trying.

It’s not just day-to-day things, like using a can opener, that I quit. It’s relationships, jobs, clubs or even friendships. While I like a challenge, I prefer ones that I can see myself easily overcoming. The ones that require actual work and dedication I factor out of my life immediately.

Whether it’s out of fear, laziness or just lack of interest, I’m not sure. But this is why I hate new years resolutions.

Every year, I’ve made a resolution to try and fix one of these problems individually. I’ve promised myself I’d go to the gym at 6 a.m. before my 8:30 class, and promptly hit the snooze button on my alarm until 8:15. I’ve tried to change my personality to be more easy-going so that rough patches in friendships don’t occur, which usually lasts until there’s a sink full of dirty dishes that I rant about until someone cleans them.

That’s why this year, my only resolution is to  try. “Trying” isn’t a commitment. Trying could mean setting those alarms and maybe getting up in time to make breakfast instead of going to the gym. It could mean learning more things, like using a can opener, instead of letting others solve my problems for me. It could even mean buying 3 different chapsticks so that when I lose one, I have three more.

Trying doesn’t mean I’ll have effortless relationships, or that I’ll lose 15 pounds in a month. It means I’ll make the effort to work harder to eventually achieve those goals.

It also means my roommates won’t hate me as much for leaving passive aggressive notes on our whiteboard.

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I Don’t Want to Face My Fears, And That’s OK.

Ever since I was little, I was told that the best way to alleviate your fears is to face them.

After taking two international flights, scaling a cliff on horseback and taking an elevator to the top of the Eiffel Tower, I can confirm that that advice is bullshit.

Fear is natural. It’s what keeps us from asking someone on a date, or what keeps us from jumping out of a plane. It dictates our lives and I think that’s ok.

I see nothing wrong with living in the United States for the rest of my life because I don’t want to fly. I don’t feel the need to take the elevator instead of stairs just to face my fears. I don’t ever want to scale a cliff again to face my fear of heights.

As long as it does not restrict what I want out of life, why should I be forced to fix it?

I welcome fear. I don’t want to die before I’ve accomplished everything out of life. I want to live to see myself graduate law school. I want to come home to a 150 pound golden doodle jumping on my chest. I want to explore New York City so much that I don’t need to stare at google maps trying to get from Central Park to the Met.

I want to do things that I enjoy in life, things that don’t scare me. If I can’t ever visit France again because I don’t want to get on an airplane, then so be it. If I don’t want to jump out of an airplane, then why stress myself out over conquering my fear of heights?

Why make life anymore complicated than it already is?

I don’t take risks. I live comfortably. I take the stairs and I drive 8 hours to school. I am okay with living this way, and there is no need for me to change.

My life is not worse because I cannot face my fears, or because i’m being “deprived” of experiences that I could have if I weren’t afraid.

My life is better because I don’t do things that make me scared.

Besides, at least climbing to the 10th floor of a hotel will keep me healthy.