I’m a quitter.
I have never gone more than a month of consistently working out because I don’t see results right away. I’ve switched my major twice because the work wasn’t something I could sit down and effortlessly finish in under an hour.
I’ve asked other people at work to help me when I didn’t feel like learning how to do something. My roommates light the candles in my room and open cans of soup for me because I’ve tried and failed at using both a lighter and a can opener.
I can’t even finish one goddamn stick of chapstick without losing it and just buying a new one because I don’t feel like hunting for it under my bed.
If something doesn’t come easy, I stop trying.
It’s not just day-to-day things, like using a can opener, that I quit. It’s relationships, jobs, clubs or even friendships. While I like a challenge, I prefer ones that I can see myself easily overcoming. The ones that require actual work and dedication I factor out of my life immediately.
Whether it’s out of fear, laziness or just lack of interest, I’m not sure. But this is why I hate new years resolutions.
Every year, I’ve made a resolution to try and fix one of these problems individually. I’ve promised myself I’d go to the gym at 6 a.m. before my 8:30 class, and promptly hit the snooze button on my alarm until 8:15. I’ve tried to change my personality to be more easy-going so that rough patches in friendships don’t occur, which usually lasts until there’s a sink full of dirty dishes that I rant about until someone cleans them.
That’s why this year, my only resolution is to try. “Trying” isn’t a commitment. Trying could mean setting those alarms and maybe getting up in time to make breakfast instead of going to the gym. It could mean learning more things, like using a can opener, instead of letting others solve my problems for me. It could even mean buying 3 different chapsticks so that when I lose one, I have three more.
Trying doesn’t mean I’ll have effortless relationships, or that I’ll lose 15 pounds in a month. It means I’ll make the effort to work harder to eventually achieve those goals.
It also means my roommates won’t hate me as much for leaving passive aggressive notes on our whiteboard.